


This Love-Hate Relationship

by insanelycoolish



Series: Love-Hate Relationship Universe [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Band Fic, Cute, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, He was a boy, Inspired by Sanders Sides, Light Angst, Lols thanks Avril, M/M, Meet-Cute, Minor Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Minor Thomas/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Multiple Pairings, Multiple Relationships, Platonic Logince - Freeform, Platonic Moxiety, Prinxiety - Freeform, Rating: PG13, Romance, Romantic Fluff, They rock each other's world, Thomas/Remy, can i make it anymore obvious, logicality - Freeform, roman and logan are bffs, thomas is dating remy, virgil and patton are bffs
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-05-23 14:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insanelycoolish/pseuds/insanelycoolish
Summary: Roman has followedThe Witching Hoursince he was in high school. Last time they were in town, Roman not only got to meet his idol (and crush), the lead singer of the band—he kissed him as well.The band is in town once more and Roman made sure to get VIP tickets so he could see Virgil again. One question plagues Roman's mind:Will Virgil remember him? Will he remember theirkiss?Okay, so that's two questions. But who's really counting when love is on the line?Also be sure to check out my one shot series's for this AU Verse:TLHR Logan/Patton,TLHR Remy/Thomas,TLHR Declan, andTLHR NSFW.





	1. Shut Up and Kiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** I am not affiliated with Thomas Sanders or Joan, nor the rest of their group. I do not own or make money off of these characters. I only own the story as it is written. Songs used in this fic are owned by the artists themselves and will be linked in the chapter that contains them.
> 
> Super uber thanks to my beta reader [Gracie](https://the-angry-hufflepuff.tumblr.com/) and the two that preread to be sure my characterization was on point, [Jen](http://sunshineandteddybears.tumblr.com/) and [Jude](http://lazyscouts.tumblr.com/). The links will take you to their Tumblrs. If you'd like to follow me as well, you can find me at [insanelycoolish](http://insanelycoolish.tumblr.com/).

* * *

This Love-Hate Relationship

**Shut Up and Kiss Me**  
( Link to Song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL0mztueFD4). )

* * *

Roman was positive that he was going to lose his voice. Did he care? Not one heckity heck. He was in his element. The bespectacled man beside him, however, looked like he was about to have an aneurysm or completely lose it. Or both. Most likely both.

Roman turned to Logan and smiled apologetically, his bright white teeth flashing in the dark of the concert hall. The other rolled his eyes and shook his head as he lifted his hand to adjust his designer glasses. Roman grinned more brightly at the motion. Once again, he was forgiven, and with that knowledge, he turned back to the stage and the band that played with the energy that only a world-renowned alternative/punk band could.

 _The Witching Hour_ had been Roman’s favorite band since he discovered them his junior year of high school. Most of the band members were his age and most of his friends loved them too. Everyone except Logan, who found their sound annoying and juvenile. Of course, Logan’s favorite “band” were podcasts and he was more into science and math and student council than silly bands. He had no time to be concerned with music of any kind.

Roman snorted as he recalled the time his best friend mispronounced the name of the band that performed their graduating class song. Logan hadn’t even noticed and considering the fact that he was not only student council president, but Valedictorian, no one bothered to correct him. Many of Roman’s friends had voiced their surprise at the fact that Logan was his best friend, but Roman had been popular in his own right. Popular people tended to gravitate toward one another and their friendship had a strange way of working out.

Roman had helped Logan get the votes of his crowd – been the voice and face of the Student Council president at parties, for the sports team and for the theater kids. Likewise, Logan was there to listen as Roman rambled about this or that and helped him with subjects he was struggling in. Besides that, their parents had been best friends throughout college and ended up living in the same neighborhood, so it only made sense that the two would grow up alongside each other. Logan was much more than a best friend. He was more like a brother who sometimes went home with his secondary set of parents.

It helped that Roman was a very open sort of friend. He didn’t care what group a person belonged to; if they were cool and nice and generally awesome people, Roman wanted to be friends. Unfailingly. It also helped that the students with high GPA’s who were part of the student government and other major organizations were just as popular, if not more so, as those on the sports teams. It was an odd sort of setup, Roman had to agree, but he liked how it had worked out. He would have hated to have to beat people up for messing with Logan. Not that he didn’t think Logan couldn’t hold his own; in fact, he was sure he could. Logan had a way of beating someone down and tearing them apart without ever resorting to becoming physical.

Though they were now in college, the dynamic hadn’t changed much, aside from the fact that there was no longer a popularity hierarchy. It was much more of a collective clusterheck of people all trying to make it through secondary education without getting into too much debt and have a fun time while juggling full time college and part time jobs. The madness and change that college brought was why _The Witching Hour_ had come to be such an important part of Roman’s life.

Well, that, and one other reason.

Roman blushed as his eyes locked on the main singer, who was currently tugging his lower lip into his mouth with his teeth. _Damn him._ Virgil Armitage; a.k.a. the bane of Roman’s very existence. They had met once before and it had been everything he had dreamed of… and a _whole_ lot more.

One thing about Virgil that everyone knew was that Virgil was gay. In fact, the entire band was LGBT in some form or fashion, which was another reason they had been such a staple in his life and the lives of so many of his peers growing up. It was why he still followed them, though his taste in music had otherwise changed with the years.

Virgil was gay… and so _beautiful_. Not that his beauty had any bearing on his gayness, but both were still facts.

Virgil was the lead singer and guitar player for the band. Thomas Sanders was backup vocals and bass; he was gay as well. It was also rumored that he was off the market but Roman had surprisingly not been able to find any rumors as to the lucky man was. Then there was Patton Hart on keyboard and he was pansexual. Lastly, there was Declan Trompeur on drums who was asexual and aromantic. Declan also provided the “screamo” when the songs called for it while still rocking out on drums. Roman often wondered how he could keep all that up when thousands of fans, much like himself, completely lost their voices after an hour.

Ah, the mysteries of music.

Virgil though… it wasn’t just the fact that he was the lead singer or that he had such a sweet and sexy voice. It wasn’t just the fact that he was gorgeous as hell. Sure, it _used_ to be that that was all Roman had to worry about but then, last year, Roman had finally gotten the chance to meet his musical crush and secret role model. The meeting, however, hadn’t gone quite as he had hoped.

It went _well_ , in fact, it had gone _extremely_ well. Roman had managed to keep from fanboying upon meeting him, but what he had not accounted for was how much their personalities would clash. They were polar opposites. Somehow, that didn’t seem to matter to either of them. Instead, they played off each other. What would have been arguing and disagreement with any other person had been playful banter with Virgil. Even though they got along, Roman had not expected and readied himself for the fact that Virgil Armitage was a complete and total flirt.

However, it seemed as though it had only been with him that he let that side show. Roman couldn’t help but grin now as he watched his crush jump and thrash around the stage, playing his guitar as if it were an enemy he had to defeat before taking hold of the microphone and practically make love to it as he sang out the next part of the song. Roman blushed and then frowned.

“What?”

Roman blinked a few times before looking over at his best friend. He had heard sound come from him, he was sure, but as the music was so loud and he hadn’t been paying attention, Roman hadn’t caught what the bespectacled man had said.

“What?”

Logan nodded. “Precisely what I am asking.”

Roman heard him that time and was sure the confusion must have shown on his face because a moment later Logan rolled his eyes before whipping out his cell phone. He typed feverishly and Roman watched as he pressed send before taking his own cell phone out of his pocket just as it vibrated. He quickly unlocked it and pulled up Logan’s text, snorting and shaking his head fondly.

_What’s wrong? You were pouting. I thought you liked that guy._

Roman typed back quickly.

_I do. And that’s the problem._

Roman sent the message and watched Logan’s face for any reaction. A raise of brows was all he got before the other was typing once more. Roman watched as Logan typed a whole novel into his reply. Typical Logan, honestly, but at least he never had to worry about misreading one of his texts. Logan always said exactly what he meant and often in more words that was necessary. As soon as Logan sent the message, Roman was on his phone, reading.

_He spent more time with you than he did with the others when you met him, right? You said he flirted quite adamantly with you as well? You flirted back, I assume from how you stated the exchange took place… so why the face? You know I don’t do well with feelings. If this is going to become that back and forth happy sad, happy sad, thing you had back in junior year with Joan, I’d rather know now so I can prepare for emotional whiplash._

He snorted at his friend’s concern and shook his head. Logan had a point but he only knew the bare minimum. What he didn’t know was that his interaction with Virgil had gone a little further than just flirting. The two had kissed. Quite a lot before Virgil had to leave. Roman had promised himself that he would accept the night for what it had been. Fun and that was that. Virgil would move on. Maybe he found a boy to make out with in every city during his tour. But he also knew himself better than that. He held onto hope for an entire year. That hope was a huge part of why he’d dragged Logan with him this time. In case it all went south.

_I’m fine, Lo. Promise. I’m just worried…_

Logan’s eyebrow raised as he pursed his lips, not bothering to look at him as he typed back.

_About?_

Roman sighed.

_What if he doesn’t remember me?_

Logan looked up at him flatly at that one and sent one more message before putting his phone away.

_Falsehood. There is no way he could forget. You’re far too charming and handsome, not to mention loud and demanding. He remembers. Now, enjoy your concert so that I know at least one of us hasn’t wasted their precious time._

Roman couldn’t help but grin at that, exiting out of the app before locking his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. He caught Logan looking at him and mouthed a thank you before turning his attention back to the stage.

They were between songs and Thomas, who was the face and voice of the band, was talking. Another thing that most fans of the band were aware of was that even though Virgil was the actual leader of the band, his anxiety made him unable to handle the PR and spokesperson roles that a lead singer usually handled. Thomas, who was a natural performer and who also had social anxiety but not the same kind as Virgil, had happily stepped in to take on the roles. He was now engaging the crowd with the bright, diamond smile they had all come to know. The others took drinks of their water as Thomas spoke, taking sips of his own water between sentences.

“We’ve got a real treat for you tonight!”

The crowd, including Roman, cheered.

“A new song that our Virgil wrote for someone special in his life.”

Roman’s heart dropped. He could feel Logan stiffen beside him and felt his eyes on him. There were mostly cheers coming from the crowd, though there were also scattered groans and outcries of disappointment. Virgil was not as popular in terms of fans as Thomas, lacking Thomas’s boyish charms and face of the band status. He wasn’t even as popular as Declan, whose crazy fun personality and general aloofness when it came to others’ attraction to him made him the second most popular of the group. Virgil was, however, known to hardcore fans to be the true leader of the group as well as the one who wrote most of their songs. He was also very attractive in his own right. Disappointment was expected.

Most didn’t have Roman’s history with Virgil, however. It seemed as if he had read too much into it. Virgil obviously hadn’t thought nearly as much, if at all, about that meeting as Roman did. That was… that was okay though. Well, no. It wasn’t. But he knew better than to expect much if anything at all. It was his own fault for getting his hopes up. It served him right, really.

Lost in his thoughts, Roman heard the music but he wasn’t listening. He was trying to keep his heart from completely breaking. It wasn’t until he was being physically shaken by his best friend that he snapped out of his reverie completely. He blinked at Logan, confusion on his face, as Logan tried to talk to him. He heard the annoyed growl before his face was being physically turned to face the stage. Roman’s eyes immediately sought out and locked onto Virgil and his heart clenched as Logan hissed into his ear.

“Listen! You can throw a pity party later, but I don’t think you’ll need to. Just _listen_.”

Roman didn’t hear most of what he said but he did hear the word “listen” twice, and so he did, even though that was the last thing he wanted to do.

It was a good thing he did too.

 _This love (love)-hate (hate) relationship_  
_You say you can't handle it_  
_But there's no way to stop this now_  
_So shut up and kiss me_

 _Kick (kick), scream (scream) call it quits_  
_But your just (just) so (so) full of it_  
_'Cause it's too late, to close your mouth_  
_Shut up and kiss me_

 _So shut up!_  
_So shut up!_

The song they were singing… was about _him_.

It was _for_ him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author Notes:** At long last! The first chapter of my bandfic, as promised. I really, truly hope that the wait has been worth it. Please, please let me know what you think! I love that I get to share my talent with you guys and its even the smallest squeal or keyboard smash that makes my day in knowing that you guys enjoyed! Kudos are of course welcomed as well, but its the comments from all of you that get me excited to bring more. ❤  
> 
> Quick note to you all. I plan to get chapters out every Wednesday from here on out. Next week may have one or it might be the week after due to starting a new job, but I will try my very best to get one out next week. I have this weekend to write it so if the response to this chapter is great, I will do my very best to move mountains for you guys! Lastly, thank you for reading! Until the next chapter! ❤
> 
>  **Note:** The band's song in this chapter, _Shut Up and Kiss Me_ , is actually a song of the same title by **Orianthi** , who is an insanely awesome artist! Go check her out! Once again, here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bL0mztueFD4). 


	2. The Sound of Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** This chapter is a FLASHBACK chapter.

* * *

This Love-Hate Relationship

**The Sound of Silence**  
( Link to Song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4). )

* * *

**One year earlier…**

Virgil snorted, mid sip, spraying the water he’d been drinking onto anything within a foot radius of him. Unfortunately for Declan, that was mostly him. 

“ _Ugh!_ Dude,” he said, glaring. Virgil coughed and cleared his throat. He and the rest of the band were in the green room, enjoying a little bit of free time before they would interact with the VIP ticket holders.

“Sorry, Dec. Blame Patton.” 

Honestly, the blame really did lie with Patton. He had the habit of dropping the perfect pun or revealing the punchline of a joke just as Virgil took a drink of something. 

Virgil grinned apologetically toward Patton for essentially throwing him under the bus. Patton, shrugged and beamed in return.

Virgil thought back to ninth grade when he had first met Patton. He smiled to himself, remembering how they had bonded over the both of them being epically horrible at Spanish. Patton had introduced him to Thomas, his cousin and close friend, and after a week of crushing on the guy, Virgil decided he liked him much better as a friend. Two teenage boys with anxiety did not a good relationship make. 

Virgil’s eyes fell on their drummer and he snorted at the disgruntled face he was making. Declan had been brought into the band by Patton, who had witnessed him rocking out on the drums in a manner that high school marching band drums were definitely not meant to be played. Patton had immediately told Virgil and together they approached Declan who had been more than happy to give up the monotony of band class for a _real_ band. 

It had taken them a while to decide on the kind of music they wanted to play as well as find their _voice_ but all the hard work, sweat, and tears had paid off. They got their big break toward the end of tenth grade and the rest was history. Now, six years later, they had two multi-platinum and one diamond record under their belts and had won two Grammys. _The Witching Hour_ , named after an inside joke between Patton and himself, had literally taken the world by storm. 

Virgil smiled as he looked over the other three, all completely unaware of the trip down memory lane Virgil was currently taking. 

Everyone laughed, snapping Virgil out of his reverie. Declan made another face. Patton draped himself over the eccentric drummer and kissed his cheek. Thomas strummed lightly at his bass, tuning it as he chuckled in response to the whole situation.

“Don’t be _mad_ , Deccie,” Patton said with a pout, drawing out the vowel sound of the word mad, his eyes wide and innocent. Declan pursed his lips but ultimately, he was no match for the eternal ray of sunshine that was their keyboardist. 

Declan sighed and took hold of Patton’s hands, letting Patton continue to cuddle up to him. Usually, he wasn’t one for touching and other tactile activities, but Patton was, of course, the exception. His hugs were warmth, comfort, and love all wrapped into one energetic human that was Patton Hart. No one could say no to Patton and Patton could make anyone feel better, no matter what. 

Virgil smiled as he watched the other three talk. He wouldn’t give this up for the world and he lived for each and every moment. Especially the concerts, like the one they had just finished. This was everything to him, but somehow, he still felt like something was missing. Or maybe some _one_. 

Of the members of the band, Virgil was the one who hardly ever dated. The last time he’d had a boyfriend was just out of high school when the band was first getting noticed more and more. The relationship had been a complete mistake, souring the thought of any future relationships all together. He was able to take care of his physical desires with various willing people, no strings attached. That had been four years ago. Now he was twenty-one years old, and for some reason, Virgil was starting to consider attaching some strings. There was just one problem. 

The whole being in a famous band thing kind of made it hard to meet people. Well, that wasn’t true. It was easy to meet people, but harder to _trust_ them. Furthermore, his anxiety and paranoia made it near impossible for Virgil to really let down his walls enough to let anyone else into his life. 

He sighed. 

Patton must have heard, because when Virgil looked up, he was frowning in his direction. Virgil shook his head but Patton wasn’t having any of it.

“Guys! We’ll be back in ten,” he told the other three. He gave Declan one more squeeze before making his way over to Virgil, nodding in the direction of the couch across the green room. Virgil sighed and stood up, making his way to the couch as Patton followed behind. Falling back onto the couch, he slouched into the niche where the arm of the couch met the back. 

“What’s up, kiddo?” Patton asked, tilting his head. 

Virgil couldn’t help but smile slightly as he snorted. He sometimes wished Patton didn’t know him as well as he did but a large part of him was secretly happy that he did. Patton kept him sane and with his anxiety Virgil knew that he wouldn’t have been able to do any of this without his best friend. 

“Nothing… just… thinking about—” He waved vaguely, lifting his shoulders up and down in a slow shrug. _“Stuff.”_

Patton nodded as he sat down beside him, the look on his face mock serious as he turned his body to face him. 

“Ah, stuff… yes. I can see exactly why you were upset. _Stuff._ ”

Virgil looked at him flatly. Patton giggled and shook his head. 

“Sorry, kiddo. You just make it too easy. But really, what’s going on, Virge? You know you can talk to me.” 

Patton was right. Virgil took a deep breath and spit it out before he could change his mind.

“I want a relationship… I think. I mean, I don’t want one for a relationship’s _sake_ , but I guess I mean—I’m ready to start _trying_ again.” 

Patton’s honey brown eyes grew wide as his face brightened. He clapped his hands together quickly. 

“Oh, Virgil. _Good._ I’m so glad!” 

Virgil grinned lopsidedly and shook his head. “I figured you would be but it’s not like it changes anything.” 

Patton frowned. “Why not?” 

“Patt. Look at us. We’re in a world-famous band. Anyone I meet could be just someone wanting to use me because of my money or fame. How could I ever trust anyone enough to even consider a relationship? And it doesn’t make dating any easier… unless I wanted to date another celebrity, and you know I would rip my hair out before I ever did that.” 

Patton made a face, showing that he was not at all fond of the picture Virgil had just painted. 

Virgil quickly went on. “That leaves regular people… and like I said… how can I trust them?” 

Patton reached out to squeeze his shoulder, leaving his hand there as he met Virgil’s eyes.

“I can’t really answer that but I know that you’re pretty damn intuitive, Virgil. You can read people. Better than I can. You know me, I like to be everyone’s friend and I never think about all that stuff. Probably not the smartest, but it keeps me happy. But you… you’re really good at reading people. Your anxiety just makes you second guess yourself. My point is… I think you’ll know when you meet someone that you can trust. Don’t sweat it too much. For now, you’ve only just decided you want to try again. That’s the only part you need to know right now.” 

Virgil listened, considering his friend’s words. Surprisingly, Patton had hit the nail on the head. It wasn’t that Virgil didn’t believe that he was smart—he knew Patton was _very_ smart—but it wasn’t one of the traits that were brought to mind when he thought about Patton. He finally nodded and smiled a little wider. 

“Thanks, Patt. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“You’d do just fine. But you would be missing out on the world’s very _best_ best friend. Now, are you feeling better?” 

Virgil nodded. 

“Good, because the VIP guests are here!” 

Patton smiled and laughed as Virgil groaned. 

**»»————　☠　————««**

Virgil and Patton stood in the center of the room, watching as the VIP guests began to enter. Remy, their band manager, had made it clear to the venue that no more than four people were to enter at a time. Virgil was beyond grateful for that. Though Virgil was certain that it had less to do with him and his own social anxiety and more to do with Thomas—he and Thomas were dating so it was only natural that Remy would look out for Thomas first and foremost. 

Virgil didn’t mind too much. It helped him as much as it helped Thomas so he didn’t care who Remy did it for, just that it was done. He also trusted Remy and knew that though Thomas was his priority as far as his personal life, the man loved his job and, in his career, the entire band was the priority. 

As long as that continued to be the case, Virgil was happy that they were able to find happiness together. Thomas was the sweetest guy in the world and Remy—well he definitely was _not_ the sweetest guy in the world but he was a good man and he deserved happiness too. 

Virgil watched now as Remy moved to stand near Thomas, who had moved to a different part of the room to spread out so that the VIP guests could see each of the band members in turn. Remy was the embodiment of cool indifference but Virgil knew him well enough to know those sharp eyes were watching every single one of the VIPs who interacted with Thomas. It was cute, he supposed, in a way only Remy could accomplish. 

Turning his attention back to the four fans who entered, he watched as two made a beeline for Thomas and a short boy who looked extremely apprehensive made his way over to Declan. Virgil’s heart went out to him before he let his attention fall on the fourth guest, a young woman who walked up to himself and Patton. Virgil took a deep breath, forced a smile which soon became genuine, as he navigated his way through the interactions.

Virgil let out a breath of relief when the venue staff alerted the last four guests (there had been fifty at least; Virgil had lost count) that it was time to come in. 

_Thank God._

He hated that he always felt that way at this point. It wasn’t really fair to the last VIP guests, but there was also nothing that Virgil could do. Not really. Social anxiety was a cross he had to bear. He couldn’t just stop it at a moment’s notice. Usually it was never an issue as the fans knew of his anxiety, and of Thomas’s as well, and were supportive—but it didn’t keep him from feeling bad. _Guilty._

He turned his attention back to the fans, forcing a smile towards the two teen girls who came up and said hi, introducing themselves to himself and Patton, blushing as they twirled their hair and gabbed about the concert. His smile did become a bit genuine as they praised the different band members. The girls kept glancing subtly in the direction where Thomas stood. Virgil flashed a smirk. 

“I know,” he said, catching their attention. He laughed at their wide eyes and blushes, apparently embarrassed at getting caught. “He’s like _so_ dreamy, right?” He winked and nodded his head in Thomas’s direction, as if giving them permission to go talk to him. They hesitated before Patton took it upon himself to help the girls out, taking them across the room to act as a buffer. Virgil’s heart clenched at that. Patton was too good and pure for this world, of that he was certain.

Virgil was so focused on the girls and his best friend that he didn’t hear anyone approach. He nearly jumped out of his skin when a voice spoke up behind him. 

“You know, for someone who’s gay, you sure are staring at those girls for a really long time when you could be staring at me.” 

Once he was positive he wasn’t going to have a heart attack, Virgil turned his full attention to the person who had very nearly scared him to death. Apparently, his heart wasn’t finished trying to kill him yet because it was soon beating rapidly against his ribcage as his body went warm. 

_Beautiful._

Virgil’s gaze locked onto chestnut brown eyes, warm with little flecks of green and gold and a spark of mischief. Virgil couldn’t stop his eyes traveling up and down the other’s form before meeting his gaze once more. 

“Supposing there was anything to stare at,” he said with a smirk. He was almost shocked that he’d managed to flirt without choking even once. The young man standing in front of him flashed a hundred-watt smile. 

“Considering those elevator eyes you just gave me, I’d say you found plenty to stare at.”

Virgil could hear the nerves in the other man’s voice, his words slightly wavering and hesitant, as if the guy was playing each line over in his head before he actually said anything. Virgil was sill impressed, though. Not many fans would be as bold as this guy. Many people seemed to think that because of his anxiety he couldn’t handle bolder types, but quite the opposite was true. It was when the people acted all wary and quiet that his anxiety shot through the roof. 

The way this guy was handling it, Virgil actually felt at ease and more willing to open up. It also made him want to flirt back. _A lot._ But that may have had something to do with how cute this guy was. 

“Nope. You’ve got it wrong, dude. I was taking my time trying to figure out what the hell I was looking at but had to stop because I still couldn’t figure it out.” 

That earned him widened eyes and a faux pout before the other laughed. Virgil gave a start at the sound of the man’s laugh. It was just as beautiful as the rest of him. Which was not fair in the slightest. Who in the hell had a beautiful laugh? No one! That’s who. 

_Except this guy._

Exactly. Except this guy.

He considered him for a moment. Now that he thought about it, Virgil realized that that wasn’t the only way he was an exception either. 

Virgil never flirted with the fans. Ever. He also never felt so at ease with one before. Now he was two for two with this man. 

“Oh! I’m a dolt,” the man said, slapping his forehead once before holding out that same hand as he moved a little closer. 

“I’m Roman.” 

Virgil took his hand and squeezed it. 

“Virgil—um, but you already knew that.” 

The man, Roman, laughed again and Virgil soaked it in, the warmth of the sound settling over him like a comfortable blanket. 

They held hands a tiny bit longer than Virgil generally did with fans and just before he broke the contact, he brushed his thumb over Roman’s knuckles. Licking his lips, he glanced toward the couch. 

“This would be a lot more comfortable on the couch,” he said, gesturing at the couch behind him. He moved to take a seat and watched as the other man did as well. 

He leaned back, turning his body toward Roman, trying to keep a relaxed posture. 

“I would ask how you enjoyed the concert, but I’m sure you’ll just give me another smart-ass reply.” 

Roman grinned and shrugged as if to say “guilty” before biting his lip nervously.

“I actually did really enjoy it. You guys played all my favorites and that made my night.”

Virgil smiled, trying to ignore the heat rising up his neck. “We’re happy to please.” 

One smirk from Roman and the blush quickly spread onto his face as he realized how suggestive that comment could sound. 

“That’s _very_ good to know,” Roman said. Virgil couldn’t help but notice how the nerves he’d heard before were slowly disappearing. It wouldn’t be long until they were gone for good. “That makes two of us.” 

Virgil grinned back, noting the matching blush coating Roman’s cheeks. He was about to ask him some questions when the venue staff announced the five-minute mark. Virgil frowned. He couldn’t believe that much time had passed. He didn’t want to stop talking to Roman, at least not right then. 

Suddenly, an idea came to him. 

He grinned at the other who was frowning at the venue staff member who had made the announcement. 

“Roman.” 

Roman turned to him once more and Virgil pushed down the flight reflex and tried to ignore his insecurities. 

“I should go see how the stage break down is going and let the guys that work here know that we appreciate it.” 

He left it hanging in the air, his voice nonchalant. Roman frowned deeper. 

“Oh, okay.” 

Virgil bit his lip. 

“Would you like to come with me? Get a glimpse of the stage?” 

Roman’s eyes went as wide as saucers and his mouth actually dropped open. Virgil laughed lightly. 

“I’ll take that as a yes.” 

“You darn tootin’ better take that as a yes,” Roman finally managed, his voice high.

The two laughed and stood up. Virgil reached out as if to grab Roman’s hand and blushed as soon he realized what he had done. Roman didn’t miss a beat, sliding his hand into Virgil’s. They both blushed bright red. Virgil’s heart was still beating against his chest. Virgil made the final move, lacing their fingers together before heading for the door. 

He paused just before leaving, glancing at the others to make sure they were good before he left. When his eyes fell on Patton, his best friend’s eyes met his. The knowing grin on his face was undeniable. Patton mouthed ‘Who is that?’ and Virgil mouthed a ‘See you later’ before heading out the door, leading Roman through the back halls of the venue. 

As soon as they reached backstage, Virgil led him to the stairs that would take them onto the stage. He stopped to turn around and look at Roman. 

“Do me a favor? Can you trust me and once you get to the top, close your eyes?” 

Roman nodded. Virgil smiled and pulled his hand out of Roman’s. 

“Right up those steps. I’ll be right behind you.” 

He watched as Roman climbed, his eyes falling to his backside subconsciously as he watched him disappear up the steps. He grinned to himself and shook his head. 

He didn’t know what it was about this man— _Roman_ —that brought out this side of him, but if it continued to keep Roman interested, he was glad for it.

Climbing the stairs, he walked over to where Roman stood, eyes shut tightly. Virgil grinned. 

“Did you peek?” 

Roman shook his head, eyes still closed and smile ever present on his handsome face. 

“I don’t think I trust you,” Virgil teased. 

Roman’s eyes flew open, a scandalized expression taking over his features. 

“I’m teasing.” 

Roman pouted before narrowing his eyes. 

“Touché.” 

“Close your eyes.” Roman did. “Good, now turn around for me. That’s good. A bit more. There.” 

“This is just an excuse for you to check out my ass some more,” Roman accused. Virgil blushed heavily. “Don’t think I didn’t feel your eyes burning a hole through my jeans as I climbed those stairs.” 

“Well, I’m not denying, but there’s more to it than that. I’m a performer so I have to make it a bit of a show, don’t I?” 

Roman grinned but said nothing. Virgil moved in behind him and reached around to cover his eyes with both hands. He leaned in to speak softly into the other’s ear. 

“When I move my hands and tell you to open your eyes, I want you to imagine the people in the seats.” 

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Roman made a face of impatience and Virgil snorted. 

He moved them so that they now stood closer to the edge of the stage, right in the center. Virgil pulled his hands away but did not move back. He leaned in and this time he whispered. 

“Open.”

Virgil watched as Roman moved closer to the edge of the stage, looking everywhere. The awe on his face made it impossible to look away from him. He understood. It was the exact response he had had the first time he had ever set foot on a real stage. 

Roman finally spun to beam at him. 

“Thank you for showing me this.” 

Virgil smiled softly. “Don’t mention it.” 

Roman returned to him and they headed back down the stairs. 

Silence settled between them and though it was comfortable, Virgil still wanted to say something. It was Roman, however, who broke the ice. 

“Have you ever gotten to try the local diner here?” 

Virgil shook his head. Roman grinned. 

“What if I took you there now?” 

Virgil’s eyes widened. He had been totally fine with all the flirting to this point but now Roman was practically asking him out. No, he was actually asking him out. What did he do? What did he _say_? 

“If you want to, of course. No… I mean, of course you don’t. I shouldn’t have asked.” 

“Roman.” 

Roman stopped, attention locking onto Virgil and Virgil alone. His chestnut brown eyes with the mesmerizing gold flecks were both wary and hopeful. 

“I’d love to. Let me just shoot a text to the guys and our manager.” 

Roman smiled bright, his eyes shining with happiness and excitement. 

As soon as the text was sent, it was Roman’s turn to hold out his hand and Virgil blushed but took it quickly, immediately lacing their fingers together. 

**»»————　☠　————««**

“You’re ridiculous!” 

Virgil smirked and shrugged his shoulders up and down once. 

The two were walking aimlessly around the town after having breakfast for dinner at the local diner. Virgil had to agree with Roman. It would have been a crying shame if he’d never learned about its existence. Now, however, thoughts of the diner and food were far out of his mind as their conversation had taken a detour into talking about the band’s music. 

“I’m not the one arguing with the main singer of a band that the lyrics are wrong. Especially when the main singer is also the one who wrote the song.” 

That earned him a glare from his—was it too soon to call him his date?—well, whatever… his date. He just smiled back and gave a wink. 

“Yeah, well the “main singer and writer” should have used better word choices,” Roman retorted. 

Virgil laughed outright at this. “Should he have now? And what better words would you have used, Roman Prince.” 

Roman blushed at the use of his last name but didn’t falter. He stopped and turned to face him. Virgil stopped as well, brows raised as the corners of his mouth twitching up in amusement. 

It was clear to Virgil that Roman was trying of find a word to replace the one he’d used in the song. He quickly became frustrated by not being able to supply one and waved his arms wildly as if that would magically help. When that didn’t work, he moved closer and threw his hands up. 

“I could think of one but it’s kind of hard when your idol and crush is just standing here being a total jerkfacey jerk and super freaking hot at the same time.” 

Virgil burst out laughing at that. Roman didn’t like that. Not one bit. 

“Just… just shut up and kiss me!”

Time stood still suddenly. Virgil’s laughter ceased and gave way to tension charged silence. For a moment neither of them moved or said anything. Then Roman seemed to realize what he had said and brought a hand to his mouth as if he could push the words back inside. Virgil’s heart beat rapidly against his chest and his mouth went dry. Their eyes locked. Virgil’s gaze dropped to Roman’s mouth, watching as his tongue slid across soft, pink lips. He licked his own in response before looking into Roman’s eyes once more. 

“…Do you really want me to kiss you?” 

Roman nodded slowly, dropping his hand from his mouth. 

“Yes,” he finally managed. “I’d um… really like that, I mean if you want to, of course. I’m not some needy guy who will pine hopelessly if you aren’t interested and—” 

Virgil closed the distance between them, brought his hands up to frame Roman’s face gently, and kissed him firmly on the mouth. He pulled back a few moments later, opening his eyes, just as Roman’s opened as well. They were both blushing. He could see the other man’s burning red face and feel his own growing even hotter, but it still felt comfortable in this moment. It felt _right_. He felt a smile grow slowly on his face.

“Roman… just shut up… so I _can_ kiss you.” 

Roman laughed, smiled, and did just that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author Notes:** Chapter 2! I hope the wait hasn't been too terrible and is well worth it! I did a pre-release of the fic on Tumblr on the 4th thinking not many people would be on to read. Apparently, I was very wrong. This chapter is a FLASHBACK chapter. The song this chapter is named after and is in my personal playlist for this AU is The Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkle. You should definitely give it a listen! Here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zLfCnGVeL4). There is also a cover that was done by Disturbed that you can listen to [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u9Dg-g7t2l4). ❤  
> 
> I also commissioned a little fanart of the very kiss from this chapter from the loveliest, awesomest, sweetest artist ever, [the-pastel-peach](http://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/), which can be seen [here](http://insanelycoolish.tumblr.com/post/175595890285/the-pastel-peach-commissioned-by)! Definitely give it a reblog and check out her other work! If you like, you can check out her commission info [here](http://the-pastel-peach.tumblr.com/post/175185188977/the-pastel-peach-3the-pastel-peach-commission), and maybe get yourself a pretty piece from her!  
>    
> Okay, so update! I have just started a full time job. Well, not just started anymore, but it is still new and takes up a lot of time and energy. I also have the anime convention I work for next weekend. I say all of this to let you know that I am gonna try really, really hard to get Chapter 3 out to you guys next week, around Wednesday, but I don't want to promise without knowing for sure. I hope you guys can bear with me. As soon as I get more eased into the job and after the convention, I'll have more time to allot to my writing this fic. For now I ask, from the bottom of my heart, for your patience. Lastly, thank you for reading! Until the next chapter!


	3. Hold on to Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** This chapter is BACK TO THE PRESENT TIMELINE.

* * *

This Love-Hate Relationship

**Hold on to Me**  
( Link to "Unsteady" by _X Ambassadors_ : [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY). )

* * *

Roman stared at the man who had stolen his heart as the song came to an end. A whole year had gone by since they talked and shared a kiss (actually, many kisses) before Virgil’s inevitable departure.

He had tried to let it go. Boy, had he tried. But then he would just remember how it felt, standing in front of his idol for the very first time. The way it had felt to talk to him, and how surprisingly easily they fell into the teasing and flirting.

He had definitely tried to forget how it felt to hold his hand. Or to stand on the very stage where the band had performed little more than an hour before. To stand there with the leader of the band.

Roman had known, however, that he would never be able to let go of or forget about the kiss they shared. Well, _kisses_. But, specifically, that _first_ kiss. The way that Virgil had looked at him; as if he were the answer to the very questions he’d been asking. Then he had moved in and the last thing Roman saw before he closed his eyes was the soft, scared, almost vulnerable look in Virgil’s eyes. The first thing he felt once his eyes had closed was the firm, careful touch of Virgil’s hands cradling his face followed by the soft, urgent press of Virgil’s lips.

He blushed, snapping out of the daydream to find that very same man, just a little older, and somehow a little bit cuter, thrashing around to the song they had started while Roman got lost in his thoughts. He had to work to focus his mind back on the music and lyrics but he managed.

_Can you save_  
_Can you save my_  
_Can you save my heavy dirty soul?_  
_Can you save_  
_Can you save my_  
_Can you save my heavy dirty soul?_  
_For me, for me, oh_  
_Can you save my heavy dirty soul?_  
_For me, for me, oh  
_Can you save my heavy dirty soul?__

__

Roman loved that particular song. It was one of his favorite work out or cleaning the apartment songs. Unfortunately, he was far too preoccupied with the fact that not only had Virgil _not_ forgotten about him, but he had apparently been just as hooked on Roman as Roman had been on him to properly enjoy it.

He had _written a song_ for him.

Roman was so busy thinking that it wasn’t until he was physically turned to face his friend that he even noticed Logan trying to talk to him. Blinking himself out of it, Roman pulled himself together enough to see Logan pointing at his phone. Roman sighed, pulling his phone out of his pocket. He unlocked it quickly, opening the text app and Logan’s text so he could read it.

_It appears the other people with VIP tickets are heading out. You mentioned a line. I believe it would be ideal for you that we head back as well to get you as close to the front as possible._

Roman could have kissed Logan at that very moment. He wouldn’t for many reasons, the most obvious being that Logan would not at all appreciate it. He didn’t even bother to text back and instead took Logan by the wrist, tugging him through the mosh pit crowd. He released Logan’s wrist as soon as the crowd thinned, knowing from the other’s text that he realized how important this was.

Together, they walked quickly down the aisle and headed for the set of doors that led to the small room off the hall where the VIP ticket holders gathered to line up before it was time to head to the green room.

»»————　♚　————««

Virgil was a knot of emotions as he and the band headed off the stage. As soon as he cleared the stairs, he stepped off to the side and reached out for Patton when he passed by, chatting with Thomas. The keyboardist shot him a look of surprise but it quickly softened into a smile when he saw it was Virgil. Understanding etched across his facial features.

“I’ll catch up with you in the Green Room, Thomas.” Patton called after their friend, “I’ve got to hear about your date last night with Remy!”

Thomas grinned, a soft blush dusting his cheeks. He nodded at Virgil and Patton before heading out after Declan. Patton watched until Thomas had disappeared before turning back to Virgil. 

“You said you saw _him_?” He asked, voice hushed even though only the road crew was around. 

Virgil nodded, the motion a little stiff as his anxiety began to rise now that the high from the stage was wearing off. He watched as worry clouded Patton’s bright expression. 

“Kiddo… are you _positive_ that it was Roman you saw? I know, I _know_ —”

Virgil was suddenly aware that he was narrowing his eyes at his best friend in annoyance. 

_Of course,_ he was sure!

Patton held up his hands, calling for a truce.

“I’m just looking out for you, Virge. I don’t want to see you get hurt. I, more than anyone, have been witness to your pining. I _know_ how much this matters. Your happiness is riding on this, and you _deserve_ to be happy!” 

Virgil closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. Patton was right. 

_Was_ he sure? Was there any way that the guy he had seen hadn’t _actually_ been Roman?

Virgil’s mind flashed back to the moment when he had started to sing “Shut Up and Kiss Me” in his mind. He played it back from his memory, letting the sensations and feelings he had experienced rush over him again. 

_There._

Roman’s face in his mind’s eye. He had been toward the middle of the mosh pit but off to Virgil’s left. He supposed that the distance between the stage and where Roman had been standing could support the possibility that Virgil hadn’t actually seen Roman like he thought he had. However, Virgil knew beyond a shadow of doubt that it _had_ been Roman standing there, looking up at him, surprise evident on his beautiful face.

Suddenly, Virgil opened his eyes to stare at Patton. 

“There was a guy with him, Patt! You don’t think—”

Patton reached out to grip his shoulders and hold his gaze, the look in his eyes serious. 

“ _Virgil._ No way. From the way you said Roman reacted to your song… the song you wrote for him… he was still frozen even into “Heavydirtysoul”, right?”

Virgil nodded, confused as to how that was even relevant. Patton, however, seemed to think it was extremely relevant as he broke out into the biggest grin of the night. He clapped his hands together, bouncing a little on his feet. 

“ _Awwwwww!_ This is _so_ good, kiddo! I know you don’t see it but just trust your ol’ BFF, okay? You’ll see. I _promise_!”  
Virgil frowned but took another deep breath and finally nodded. 

“Okay, Patt. I’m gonna trust you on this one. But if that guy isn’t his boyfriend, then who—”

Patton gave him a pointed look. Virgil grinned, expression a little sheepish as he held up his hands in defeat. 

“I’m just _wondering_. I swear.” 

Patton narrowed his eyes but soon enough his expression cleared.

“Well… my guess would have to be that the fella was his bestie. Say! Now, _I_ want to know something…” 

Virgil raised a brow in question. 

“Was he cute?” Patton giggled as Virgil groaned. Patting him on the shoulder, the bubbly pianist then nodded in the general direction of the Green Room. “Let’s get back to the boys. The VIPs will be on their way soon and we need to be sure that you’re there when Roman comes in.” 

Virgil nodded. Suddenly an idea came to him. 

“Hey, Patt! Can you do me a favor?”

Patton smiled wide. “You know you just have to say ‘the word’, kiddo.” 

Virgil caught the set up his best friend had laid for a dad joke and was slightly tempted to ignore it. He couldn’t do that to Patton though. He got so much enjoyment from them and Virgil needed for Patton to stay as happy as possible. He deserved every happiness just for putting up with him on a daily basis. 

“You’re right, Patt.”

Patton smirked, honey brown eyes even lighter as his face lit up.

“ _Of course,_ I am kiddo! But that’s not ‘the word’.” He nudged Virgil playfully.

The guitarist feigned confusion and Patton came to the rescue. 

“Ha ha, because I told you that you just had to say _‘the word’_.”

Pretending to finally understand, he laughed lightly. 

“Oh! Good one, Patt. _The word,_ then.”

Patton flashed a playful grin. “Good job! Now, what can I do for you, Virge?”

“When he gets there, I need you to sneak him into my dressing room.” 

“What about his friend?” 

Virgil tried to ignore the irrational jealousy that flared up inside him. He failed.

“Yeah, fine. Him too, I guess.” 

Patton gave him the look again and Virgil laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah. _Okay,_ Patt. I _know_.” 

His best friend smiled gently.

“It’s all going to work out. And, of course, I can do that for you, kiddo.” 

Virgil smiled. “You rock, buddy. Let’s get back to the others now, yeah?”

Patton nodded and together they made their way to the Green Room.

By the time they arrived, the staff were already ready to start sending the VIP ticket holders inside. Virgil glanced over to where Thomas was, only to see Remy giving him an annoyed look. Virgil shrugged and headed to the right of the room. A few moments later, the meet and greet started. 

It took only a few visitors before Virgil was sure that he was going to lose it. Fan after fan came in and left. After the third set of four people came in, Virgil felt like tugging at his hair. 

_Where_ was he?

Two girls came up to him, giggling as they looked him over. He flashed a smile and slid his hands into his pockets. 

“Heya, ladies.” 

They giggled again. The blonde pushed her ginger friend closer. He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes as the ginger flapped her hand back in the blonde’s direction.

“Hey, Virgil! That was _so_ exciting! That song—the one for your partner—was so good but…” 

The ginger looked back at her friend who nodded encouragingly. “…but we were wondering if what Thomas said was true.”

The blond rushed up closer, clapping her hands together excitedly. 

“Do you _really_ have a boyfriend now?” 

Virgil smiled and nodded. 

“He’s a very special guy and I care about him very much.” 

_And I hope he’ll want to be my boyfriend._

The young women clapped, bouncing on their feet as they squealed. Virgil had really thought that they would push the topic or claim that he was lying in order to deter people who might otherwise show their interest. 

“Can we meet him? Is he here? I _have_ to see him.” 

The guitarist forced a polite smile. 

“He is.” _He’d better be, anyway._ “But he’s not ready for all that yet. I don’t doubt that one day, you’ll get the chance to meet him.”

_At least, I’m hoping…_

They squealed again and wished him luck before bouncing off to see Declan. 

A girl and her boyfriend joined him next, chatting about the concert and their favorite parts. They also congratulated him about his relationship.

The four left soon after, waving goodbye as they went. Virgil smiled and nodded back though his mood was quickly turning sour as his anxiety rose. Suddenly, all kinds of unwanted thoughts filled his mind. 

_He’s not here, idiot. Patton was wrong. That guy had been his boyfriend. Now you’ve gone and sung a love song for him and it was too awkward and—_

Virgil shook his head, clearing it of the negative tapes that played. He refused to believe it. Even if Roman was dating the guy he’d come with, he would never just leave without seeing him.

»»————　☠　————««

Roman didn’t even bother looking at the venue staff as he raised his badge and walked in, headed straight to the end of the line. As soon as he and Logan stopped, he started to feel better. Calmer.

That was until he started to count the people in front of him. Twelve.

_Twelve._

“Don’t do that to yourself, Roman.” Logan’s voice was abrupt and blunt.

Roman blinked, turning to face his best friend. The confused look on his face must have been question enough because the bespectacled man sighed.

“Don’t focus on the numbers. Just talk to me or play some music or a game on your phone. Just don’t focus on the time or how many people are before you.” He lowered his voice. “And remember, he spent more time with you than anyone else. He wrote you a song… don’t think I couldn’t gather that. I knew there had been some details you left out. Naturally.”

Roman laughed nervously, ignoring the heat rising up his neck and settling into his cheeks.

“Yeah, my bad.”

Logan raised a judgmental eyebrow but the look soon melted.

“That is fine. It still makes no difference. He likes you. _A lot_ it would seem.” Logan glanced at the door they would go through to reach the Green Room. “I suppose this means that I’ll have to have the obligatory “If you so much as think about hurting my friend, whether it is intentional or not, I will not rest until I have completely ruined you” speech.”

“Oh God! Don’t you dare!” Roman laughed, shaking his head. However, as horrifying as the prospect was, he felt a rush of gratitude toward his best friend. He held out his arms and waited, silently asking for a hug.

Logan considered him for all of half a minute before rolling his eyes and stepping forward, his own arms outstretched. They hugged and Roman whispered a happy ‘thanks’ before pulling away once more. He then began to bombard Logan with questions about his thoughts on the concert. It was quite obvious that Logan was not too fond of the band’s sound, but Roman felt almost proud when Logan said that it was definitely not the most cacophonous of music Roman listened to.

Roman had just started to delve into the mystery of who Thomas’s boyfriend was— “It is obviously the manager you told me about… Remy,” Logan stated, sounding confident— when a loud voice called for their attention. Roman was very intrigued by Logan’s guess but he could no more focus on a conversation than a person lost in the desert could focus on walking in the presence of water.

As the venue staff gave direction on how the meet and greets were supposed to go, Roman was only half listening. Nothing had changed since last year, and if it had, he was sure that Logan would tell him. He was now realizing that being one of the first in line, he would not have an opportunity to stay longer with Virgil. He didn’t care though. He couldn’t wait behind fifty plus people for his turn. He needed to see Virgil as soon as possible. He would just find some way to slip Virgil his number or something. They would make it work.

The line began to move as fans went in, four at a time, just as they had the year before. Roman tried not to focus on the minutes that passed or the number of people still in front of him. It felt as if it went on for hours but it had only been twenty minutes by the time he was the front of the line with Logan and the two people behind them. Ten more minutes and they were waved through the door. Roman took a deep breath as he passed through entrance.

Down the hallway they went, following the venue staff’s directions, the previous four talking animatedly as they passed them, heading back out. Soon enough, Roman was standing just outside the Green Room, prepared to rush in on his cue.

A wave of the hand. _There it was!_

Roman rushed inside, Logan at his heels.

Scanning for Virgil, Roman’s eyes quickly fell on the guitar player. His heart almost stopped but his body kept moving forward. Virgil’s eyes found and held his own. A twitch of lips in a held back smile, the real message was hidden in his coffee brown eyes. Roman stopped before him and smiled widely, his heart thudding hard against his ribcage.

“Hi,” he breathed, his body suddenly feeling weak.

“Hey you.” A smile. Not the same smile that Virgil had smiled for him one year before, but Roman understood. He was still among fans. There could be no show of favoritism, for that would be unfair to the other VIP ticket holders. Virgil looked around and Roman frowned.

_What was he looking for?_

Whatever it was, he seemed to find it, as he waved. Roman looked in the direction he was waving to see Patton, the band’s keyboardist and actual ray of sunshine, heading in their direction.

“Hey, Virge! Heya, guys.” Roman couldn’t help but smile back, though he still had no idea what was going on. He looked over at Logan to see if he was making any sense of it. However, Logan was not looking at Virgil. He wasn’t even looking at Roman. Logan’s eyes were locked on Patton and the look in his gray-brown eyes was one of a person who had been handed the key item in a quest. Or the look Roman suspected the Templar Knights had once they had procured the Holy Grail.

Roman couldn’t wait to tease his best friend about this. He also couldn’t wait to play matchmaker.

Those would both have to wait, however, because Virgil was talking and his voice was like a beacon in a storm. Roman would always gravitate toward it.

“Patt, this is the guy I was telling you about…” Virgil watched Patton’s face, and Roman did the same. Patton tilted his head in confusion for all of a second before it hit him. His honey brown eyes lit up and a big smile passed over his lips.

“This is _him_? This is _Roman_?” Virgil nodded and Patton clapped his hands. Suddenly, he was all business.

“Come with me, Roman!”

Roman frowned, unsure where they were going. He glanced back at Virgil.

Virgil seemed to sense his confusion. He leaned in, using the excuse of a polite hug to whisper into his ear.

“Patton’s going to take you and your… friend… to my dressing room. I’ll meet you there after the meet and greet. I’m sorry you have to wait, but this is the best option we have. I’ll see you soon. Promise.”

He started to pull away, hesitated, and then leaned in once more.

“I missed you, Ro.”

A quick kiss on the cheek and he was gone, heading over to where Thomas and the band manager stood. Roman watched after, bringing a hand up to touch his cheek.

“Come on, kiddo.”

Roman blinked, turning to look at Patton, who smiled apologetically.

“You won’t have to wait too much longer. Let’s get you guys comfortable while you wait.”

Roman smiled appreciatively and nodded. “Sounds great, Patton… and it’s great to officially meet you.”  
Patton beamed at him and then at Logan. A quick, cute little wink a second later had Roman glancing at his best friend.

He almost gave a start.

Logan, his best friend in the whole wide world, was _blushing_.

Roman smirked as they followed after Patton, heading toward the back of the room to a door. Roman glanced around him, wondering if other fans noticed but the two fans were too busy chatting away to Virgil and Thomas to see anything out of the ordinary.

Through the door they went, Patton chatting happily about Virgil and how excited he was that Roman had come to see him. And how nice it was that he’d brought a friend along, voicing his hope that Logan would keep him company as Roman and Virgil caught up.

Logan mumbled something and readjusted his glasses. Roman could only continue to grin as he shook his head. His amusement, however, was short lived because a moment later, they had arrived at Virgil’s dressing room.

Patton led them inside and gestured to the couch.

“Take a seat there. There’s water and a few beers in the cooler there. Just wait here and Virgil will be back soon. And…” Patton paused, glancing at Logan. Logan stared back before blinking out of his stupor and pointing at himself.

“My name is Logan. Pleased to meet you.” He offered Patton a hand.

Patton giggled and took the hand. Roman watched them, amused at the romance that was unfolding so sweetly right before his eyes. This was the perfect distraction. Just what he needed.

“I’m Patton, and I promise, the pleasure is all mine, kiddo.” He giggled and winked again. He then headed to the door. “Logan, I’ll be back with Virgil and then you and I can take a tour of the stage or go grab a bite to eat? Whatever you like. Okay?”

Logan blushed but nodded rapidly. He swallowed hard as he lifted his hands to his tie, readjusting it out of nerves.

Roman watched Patton and smiled. He would be perfect for his best friend.

“Okay! I’ve gotta get back to the others. Do not fret though, kiddo.” Kind eyes held his own. “You’ll see him soon enough. Until then, try to relax.” He glanced at Logan. “See you soon, Lo!”

A happy little wave and Patton was gone, the door shutting behind him.

Roman took a deep breath as he took a seat on the couch.

Now, he waited.

»»————　♚　————««

Virgil watched from where he stood with Thomas and Remy, his eyes following the path Roman took as he followed Patton out of the room. He was so caught up in watching Roman that he had not yet realized that the fans who had been talking with Thomas had asked him a question.

He blinked, a blush to coating his cheeks quickly. An apologetic smile grew on his face. 

“Sorry, guys. I zoned out there for a moment. What did you say?”

The fans were two guys. They looked seventeen or eighteen at the oldest and were dressed in alternative chic fashion. Virgil listened politely as they explained that they were trying to get a band going at their school and that _The Witching Hour_ was their inspiration. Virgil grinned and nodded, thanking them.

They left and soon four more fans came in. It was difficult. Virgil’s thoughts kept going back to Roman who was waiting for him in his dressing room. All he had to do was get through the meet and greet and then he could go and meet up with him. The problem was that the fans just seemed to keep coming and coming.

Patton returned and Virgil crossed over to him during the next fan change. Together he and Patton stood near the large couch to the right of the room, the same spot he’d been in when Roman had finally appeared. 

“How is he? Did he say anything? Did he talk about me? That guy is really not his boyfriend, right?”

Patton blinked and slowly grinned, obviously amused.

“Take a few deep breaths, kiddo.” He waited for Virgil to do so before he continued. “Roman is fine. He misses you, that much is obvious, but other than that, he is fine. We didn’t really get to talk much. I just introduced myself officially and let them know I had to come back here.” He put his hands on his hips and gave him the disappointed dad look. “Also, his name is _Logan_ and no, he’s not Roman’s boyfriend. And you already knew that.” He reached out and squeezed Virgil’s arm. “I can see you want Roman as much as he wants you, Virgil, but it also feels a bit like you’re trying to sabotage this thing before it even starts by seeking out things that aren’t even there. He’s good for you, kiddo. Now, smile. Some fans are happy to see us.”

While Patton talked animatedly with the guests, Virgil did his best to be interactive, but he knew that he was falling short. He would no doubt pay for this with a rant from Remy but whatever. He didn’t care as long as he got to see Roman soon. As the guests left and they had a chance to breathe, Virgil leaned in toward Patton again.

“How many more are there? What if Roman thinks I forgot about him or I chose not to come back, or—”

“Virgil!”

Virgil took a step back. Patton wasn’t looking very happy with him and that was a rare occurrence. Patton must have seen the shock in Virgil’s eyes because his expression softened slightly a second later. His voice, however, stayed as firm as it had been.

“You know that is not going to happen. You both waited a year. As far as the fans, there are a limited number of VIP tickets for this very reason.” He spoke lowly and, in a rush, holding up a finger for every point made. “We usually have to leave late in the night to make it to the next city but we always have several hours to explore and eat and nap. And don’t forget that we got a hotel this time because of Roman. So, we’ve actually got more time than normal.” He sighed and frowned. “You need to calm down. You getting worked up like this doesn’t help anyone. Least of all, you. And I hate to be the one to have to remind you that you are still part of this band. The _leader_ of this band. You were the leader before Roman and you’re still the leader with Roman. You owe your attention to your fans.” Patton’s expression softened and he gave him a big side hug. “Roman will wait. I promise.”

Virgil sighed and nodded, glancing at the next four fans as they headed inside. Virgil grinned with ease at the two girls that headed over. 

Patton was right. 

Roman had waited a year, just like Virgil had. Neither one of them was going to let this night pass without knowing what came next. 

Virgil had finally gotten back into the swing of things when the venue staff announced that there were no more fans coming.

Virgil thanked the older gentleman who had been discussing his guitar and the songs Virgil wrote and had even sang a few lines of a song that _he_ had written. It was really good and Virgil had urged him to keep doing what he loved. The man left with the other three that had come in with him and as the door to the Green Room closed, Virgil was overcome with nervous energy.

“Patton, you coming to dinner with us?” Thomas called, moving closer to Remy now that the fans were out of sight. He turned and pressed back against the older man. Remy wrapped his arms around Thomas’s middle and glanced at Virgil, frowning. Virgil looked away, not wanting to deal with whatever it was the manager had to say. Not when Roman was waiting for him. Especially since the band, including Remy, already knew what Virgil had planned for the evening. 

Patton shook his head with a bright smile. 

“Virgil’s Roman apparently brought his best friend with him so I’m going to entertain him while Virgil catches up with Roman.” 

Thomas nodded and looked up at Remy. Virgil watched as he frowned before looking over at Declan, who was rubbing sore calf muscles. 

“Declan, you coming?” 

Declan glanced over and shrugged. “Yeah, sure. I might leave you two lovebirds for the bar after dinner though.” Virgil couldn’t help but grin. Declan had always been blunt, ever since they’d met him. 

“Okay, let’s go. Come on, Remy. They’ve got people to see and we’ve got pizza to eat.” 

He leaned in to claim a soft kiss and Virgil realized that whether Thomas had meant for it to be or not, it was the perfect distraction for Remy. The older man smiled into the kiss before kissing back.

Virgil looked at Patton and nodded toward the back doors. Patton nodded back and together they made their way over. Virgil had just opened the door when Remy called out to him. 

“I realize you’ve got your man to see but we do need to talk tomorrow, Virgil.” 

Virgil sighed, rolling his eyes. He waved his hands at the other. 

“Yeah, yeah. Fine.” 

He closed the door behind them and hurried off down the hall, Patton rushing to catch up. He would have slowed down had he realized, but now Roman was the only thing on his mind, the only thing he had to worry about, and Virgil couldn’t think about anything else. 

They reached the dressing room and Virgil reached out for the doorknob but stopped, biting his lip. Closing his eyes, he got his nerves in check, then with a deep calming breath, he opened the door. His eyes scanned over the room but as soon as they met Roman’s gaze, he saw nothing else. 

Just Roman. 

_Roman._

_His_ Roman.

»»————　☠　————««

Roman was up on his feet the moment the door opened, his eyes locked on Virgil. His body was buzzing with excitement at the same time his stomach flip-flopped with nerves. It wasn’t even nerves in the sense one usually thinks when in the same vicinity as a guy one likes. This was different. These nerves were charged with desire and Roman was almost afraid of the intensity of it. But he wouldn’t change it for the world. Not with the way Virgil was looking at him. As if he was afraid that Roman was a mirage and would disappear if he came any closer. But closer he came and Roman was grateful. He didn’t know what he would have done if Virgil hadn’t.

Except maybe yeeted himself across the space between them and embarrass them both while he was at it. 

Virgil stopped in front of him. He was so close and Roman longed to just reach out and touch him but he didn’t yet know if he could. If he _should_. 

Virgil answered that for him as he searched his eyes for a few seconds before bringing his hands up to frame Roman’s face, leaning in and he closing his eyes. Roman barely had time to shut his own before Virgil’s lips pressed against his. 

Roman sighed into the kiss, the sound almost shaky. He quickly brought his arms up to wrap around Virgil’s neck. Virgil moved one hand to Roman’s waist as the other slid to hold the back of his neck, fingers slipping into his hair, and fingertips firm against his skin.

Roman moaned happily into the kiss, pulling away just enough to smile and press his forehead to Virgil’s. He caught his breath before he kissed Virgil again, the kisses no longer gentle between them. By the time they pulled away from each other fully, Virgil’s hand was at the small of his back and his other hand had definitely messed up Roman’s hair. 

_I’ll have to talk to him about that,_ he thought with a grin.

Roman’s hands were in Virgil’s hair as well so he supposed he didn’t have a lot of room to talk. He chuckled, the sound a little nervous as he pulled his fingers from the dark locks with the large streak of lilac. Virgil laughed too, the sound low. Roman shivered agreeably. 

_God, that kind of laugh should not be allowed._

Especially paired with the way Virgil was looking at him now. Like he was the answer to everything he could ever want. But Roman couldn’t be sure he was much better. He couldn’t even look away from Virgil for very long. 

“I missed you.” He whispered. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to whisper but it got the point across. Virgil pulled him into a firm embrace, wrapping his arms around him as he rested his forehead against Roman’s. Roman was surprised but soon melted into the hug, his arms holding Virgil as tightly as Virgil held him. He closed his eyes, smiling as he moved his head to rest on Virgil’s shoulder, burying his face into his neck.

It was nice. It was better than nice. 

It was _heaven_.

Roman was so lost in the feeling that it took him awhile to realize that Virgil was shaking. Roman’s eyes opened and he pulled away in alarm. 

“Virgil?” 

Virgil just pulled him back in, holding him close as he took deep calming breaths. 

“I’m okay… I promise.” 

Roman wasn’t so sure but he let Virgil hold him. Virgil’s shaking stopped soon enough and he pulled back first this time, smiling apologetically. 

“I’m sorry, babe, I just… this day… this year even but especially today. I… wasn’t completely sure you’d be here.”

Roman blushed at the term of endearment but couldn’t stop grinning. 

“Hey, hey. Don’t be sorry. I get it… believe me. I _really_ get it. I didn’t think you’d remember me and then Thomas said you wrote a song for the special someone in your life and I thought… you’d moved on. I didn’t realize it was for me until Logan shook me and got me to listen. I’m so glad he did.”

Virgil stiffened at the mention of Logan but didn’t say anything. Instead, he smiled and bit his lip. Roman had the very distinct urge to bite it for him but resisted. They were talking and it was important. 

“So, you liked the song?”

Roman’s brows shot up. “Liked it? _Liked it?_ ” He then laughed and shook his head. “Of course, I liked it, Virgil. I _loved_ it. I mean, it was extremely effective in letting me know how you feel, that’s for sure. And it’s super catchy on top of that.”

Virgil grinned. “I thought you’d like that. Glad I was right.” He fell silent, looking into Roman’s eyes and smiling. Roman felt heat rise up his neck and onto his cheeks but he continued to hold Virgil’s gaze. God, this man was amazing. He could steal his attention and hold it with one adoring look. A look that was becoming less adoring and more heated with every passing moment. 

The seconds ticked by, Roman’s eyes darting from Virgil’s gaze to his mouth and back again. He tried to hold out, in case Virgil had more to say but it was a losing battle as he pressed his body more fully against his rock star. 

Roman searched Virgil’s eyes for a second longer before closing his own. 

And then he kissed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author Notes:** Finally! Chapter 3! I really hope this was worth the wait for you guys but from what I've heard so far, it will have been! Please send kudos and write me a little comment. Let me know what you liked and any fave parts. I love hearing from you guys!   
> 
> This chapter is BACK TO THE PRESENT. The lyrics this chapter is titled after is from _**Unsteady**_ by **X Ambassadors** and the song is in my personal playlist for this AU. You should definitely give it a listen! Here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lw3qylVfY). Please keep in mind that I chose this title because the chorus and bridge work very well for this chapter, whereas the rest of the song does not. Please keep that in mind as you listen. 
> 
> Also, the song from the beginning is **_Heavydirtysoul_** by **Twenty One Pilots**. Listen to it here: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_9Kf0D5BTs). ❤


	4. Here (In Your Arms)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING:** Though this chapter is still PG-13, there _is_ some **suggestive dialog**. I did, however, end the scene by fading to black essentially. For those who do not mind, and would like to read the smut, I will be writing it as a one shot soon. 

* * *

This Love-Hate Relationship

**Here (In Your Arms)**  
( Link to "Here (In Your Arms)" by _Hellogoodbye_ : [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6wDj44dkc). )

* * *

Virgil was the one to break the kiss. He brought his hands up to Roman’s arms, using them to gently guide Roman back so that there was some space between them. As much as he wanted to just continue to hold and kiss the other, they needed to talk. 

Roman didn’t seem to get the picture, however, because he tilted his head in the cutest manner and tried to move in close once more. Virgil laughed. 

“Roman, we need to talk.” 

Roman pouted. Virgil groaned. This man was going to be the death of him. 

Pulling Roman in close once more, he wrapped his arms tightly around the man and kissed him deeply. A few moments later, he pulled away again, remembering that they were _supposed_ to be talking. 

He gently moved away from Roman once again, putting more space between them this time. He regarded Roman, an accusatory look on his face. The man just grinned back, the very picture of smugness.

“You are trouble.” Virgil commented dryly, but he was grinning even as he said it. Roman laughed lowly at this, slowly closing the distance between himself and the guitarist. 

“And you knew that the moment we met. You signed up for this the moment you wrote that song and chose to sing it to me in front of hundreds of fans.” 

Virgil could hardly argue with that. He snorted and shook his head. 

“Starting to second guess both decisions.” 

Roman gasped, obviously scandalized. 

“You wouldn’t dare!” 

Virgil’s dark eyes sparkled with mischief. “Oh? But wouldn’t I, though?” 

Roman made an offended noise that sounded very much like a prince who was about to throw a royal fit. Virgil smirked and snorted as Roman pouted. 

“So mean.” Roman muttered, crossing his arms. 

“Well, you signed up for this the moment you told me to shut up and kiss you, babe.” 

Roman blushed, fighting back a smile. The guitarist made a mental note to call Roman _‘babe’_ more often.

“Come on. Let’s talk. The faster we talk, the sooner we can get back to making out.”

Roman’s eyes widened and he clapped his hands together. 

“Okay, let’s talk! Good idea. You want to start, or should I? Know what, I’ll start. Hey, so I really like you, and I kinda really want to see where this goes. You like me a lot as well, so I can only guess that you must agree with me. Okay, so there. We talked. Let’s get back to kissing.” 

Virgil’s brows rose, an impressed look passing over his features. Roman had just said all of that in a single breath. He chuckled and moved to the couch, taking a seat. Sinking back into it, Virgil patted the space beside him. 

“Come ‘ere, Ro.” He said, voice soft. 

Roman crossed to the couch, taking the indicated seat and turning his body toward Virgil’s. Their legs touched and he smiled at the other. 

“Okay. You got me here, sweetheart. Let’s talk.” 

It was Virgil’s turn to blush at the pet name, rather loving the way the word sounded falling from Roman’s lips. 

“I like you, Roman,” Virgil began, reaching out to take Roman’s hand into his own. They instinctively linked their fingers, each closing them around the other’s hand. Virgil smiled down at their joined hands before turning his gaze up into Roman’s eyes once more.

His stomach erupted with butterflies as he took in the pink flush of Roman’s cheeks and the undeniable longing in his deep chestnut eyes. 

_God, he’s so beautiful._

He wasn’t sure how Roman had managed it, but Virgil was pretty sure he had gotten more beautiful over their year apart. 

“When I left last year… we agreed to just leave that night for what it was, but the more time passed, the more I realized that I couldn’t leave it at that. I would have called but I’m an idiot and didn’t ask for your number.” 

Roman frowned. 

“If you’re an idiot, then I am too. We agreed to just leave it, Virgil. It’s _why_ neither of us asked for a number. Obviously, we should have, but it’s in the past. We’re _here_ now. Together.” 

Virgil sighed, bringing his free hand up to slide his fingers through his two-toned brown and purple hair. 

“I begged Remy to let us stay an extra day so that I’ll have time with you. I didn’t want to leave you like that again. But it’s not just that. I want you to know… I mean, it’s stupid of me to even presume you would want—” 

Virgil fell silent, feeling his anxiety start to rise. He looked up in surprise as Roman squeezed his hand. The smile on Roman’s face gave him the courage to continue. 

“I’d like… Roman, I would really like it if you came with me.” 

Roman’s eyes widened. 

“Wait? Like ‘on tour with you’ with you?”

Virgil nodded, throat tight. Roman let out a slow whistle, apparently unable to believe it. He fell silent and Virgil internally called himself every name in the book. 

“No, no. It was stupid. I’m sorry, Ro, I shouldn’t have—” 

“Stop.” 

Virgil blinked in surprise at the intensity behind the word and fell silent. Roman glared at him reproachfully. 

“Virgil, if you keep talking about yourself like this, I’m not going to be very happy and I think we both know that it is probably in your best interest that you keep your boyfriend happy.” 

Virgil’s brows rose as heat climbed up his neck. 

“Boyfriend?” He smiled, almost shyly. “So, you really want to be my boyfriend?” 

Roman snorted. 

“Really, sweetheart? You have to ask?” 

“You’re right, stupid question.” 

“Yes, I want to be your boyfriend… and if you want to be mine too, then we’re boyfriends.” 

Virgil nodded rapidly, unable to speak right away. Instead, he leaned in, bringing his free hand to frame Roman’s face as he kissed him deeply. When the kiss ended, both were racing to catch their breath. Roman’s laugh was breathless. 

“I thought we were talking.” He teased, squeezing Virgil’s hand. Virgil snorted. 

“You can’t blame me. You toss in an update like that and of course I’m going to kiss you.”

Roman smirked, obviously pleased with himself. Virgil settled back once more, his eyes falling to their clasped hands. 

“So… we’re boyfriends… but I’m guessing you _can’t_ come with me…?” 

The sadness in Roman’s eyes when he looked up again was answer enough, though Virgil realized as soon as he said it that he hadn’t really needed one. 

“I _want_ to come with you. I _really_ do. But, I’m still in college and I’ve got classes and I’d need to talk to my parents and Logan is here—” 

“ _Logan_ is here.” Virgil repeated glumly. 

“Virgil.” 

Again, with the sharp tone? Virgil looked up at his new boyfriend, sheepishly. 

“If you are going to act this way every time I mention Logan… if you’re going to be constantly jealous of my best friend… then I don’t know how this is going to work.” 

Virgil closed his eyes and took a deep, calming breath. Roman was right. _Of course_ he was right. And here Virgil was acting like a kid who was told he had to share his toys with the rest of the class. 

“Sorry, babe.” 

Roman smiled. 

“My life, aside from you, _is_ still here. I can’t just up and leave.” 

Virgil looked away, trying his best to come to terms with the fact that Roman— _his boyfriend_ —would not be coming with him. Roman wasn’t finished, however. 

“In a year, though, I _can_ see my answer being completely different.” 

Virgil glanced at him, hope glimmering in his dark eyes. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

Roman was the one to lean in and kiss him this time. Virgil gladly gave in. 

»»————　☠　————««

Roman pulled away from Virgil and his kisses. The guitarist watched as Roman blushed, obviously just realizing that he was straddling Virgil’s lap but smiling happily just the same. 

“I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart.” 

Virgil grinned. 

“That’s good, babe.” He said, sliding his hands up and down Roman’s sides. He felt Roman shiver agreeably beneath his touch. “Because I can’t get enough of you either, so I guess we’ll just have to suffer together.” 

Roman stole a few more open-mouthed kisses. Virgil kissed back quite contentedly. Opening his eyes as his boyfriend pulled away, Virgil hummed in contentment at the way Roman had begun to massage his shoulders, fingers playing with the tiny hairs at the nape of his neck. As Roman massaged him, Virgil brought his hands to Roman’s thighs, rubbing them slowly.

“I’m going to miss you, Roman.” He held Roman’s gaze, his eyes shining with sincerity. This had Roman kissing him again, to which he chuckled lowly but kissed back. 

“You know just what to say.” The college student said, pulling away to look into his eyes once more. “It’s not fair.” 

Virgil snorted. 

“Says the man who captured my attention a year ago and never let go.” 

Virgil could tell Roman was about to argue, perfectly ready to start a full-fledged debate as to who was more affected by the other and why, but Virgil had other plans. He framed the other’s face with both hands and guided it to him so that he could kiss his mouth, tenderly. He smirked as he felt Roman shake lightly, pulling away to hold his gaze. 

“You okay, babe?” Virgil asked, brushing his left cheek with his thumb. Roman tilted his face into the touch. 

“Mmhm.” 

Virgil frowned. 

Roman was blushing and looked like he wanted to say something. 

“What is it?” 

Roman blushed more deeply and looked away before glancing at him again. 

Virgil was perplexed as to what could be so embarrassing that Roman couldn’t say it. Usually, his boyfriend had no trouble voicing whatever it was he wanted to say. He waited, however, certain that Roman would speak up sooner or later, once he got over his nerves. 

A moment later, Roman proved Virgil right. 

“I want you.” He said.

Virgil laughed at that and leaned forward to steal a kiss before leaning back once more. He let his hands fall to Roman’s shoulders, sliding down his arms. 

“I thought we already established that, babe.” 

Roman shook his head. He brought his hands to Virgil’s chest, sliding down to grip at the hem of the guitarist’s shirt, tugging at it. Virgil watched as Roman looked down at his hands gripping into the fabric.

“No, sweetheart.” Roman said, licking his lips. Then his eyes were locked with Virgil’s, lids heavy. “I _want_ you.” 

Virgil’s eyes widened as heat rose up his neck. 

_“Oh!”_

Roman laughed. The laugh sounded very similar to his usual one, which Virgil had loved since the first time he’d heard it, but this one was tinged with something else. 

Desire. 

_Arousal._

Virgil shivered, hands sliding once again to the other’s thighs, squeezing them gently. He looked his boyfriend over. Their eyes met again. He would be absolutely lying if he said he didn’t want what Roman was proposing. 

He swallowed hard, knowing his dark brown eyes mirrored the hunger in Roman’s chestnut ones. 

“Are you sure, Ro?”

Roman nodded, suddenly looking worried. 

“Unless you don’t want to. I don’t need it right now. I can totally wait until you’re ready, or if you don’t ever want that than that’s okay too—” 

Virgil kissed him hard, pulling him close. When they broke away for air a few moments later, Virgil looked deep into Roman’s eyes. 

“I’ve wanted you since that night last year, Roman. I just wanted to be sure that you’re sure.” 

Roman smiled adoringly at him. He leaned in to kiss at his neck, peppering kisses upward until he reached his ear. 

“I’m very sure, Virgil.” He whispered, heatedly. 

That was all the confirmation Virgil needed. He rose with Roman in his arms. He twisted so that he could lay Roman out on the couch, immediately straddling him. 

“Then I suppose I should take care of my Prince.” He said with a smirk. 

Roman blushed but grinned. “Prince, huh? It’s a play off of my last name but I _really_ like that. So, what does that make you, sweetheart?”

“It makes me the knight that makes sure his idiot Prince is happy and healthy.” 

Roman snorted and pulled Virgil down into a kiss. Virgil went willingly as they both gave into their desire for one another. 

»»————　☠　————««

Virgil smiled as he held the other. They had gotten dressed again and had been considering food when Virgil had decided that he just wanted to hold his boyfriend for a while. 

“Who would have thought that the edgy punk rock star Virgil Armitage was so sappy.” Roman teased, snuggling closer to Virgil. 

Virgil chuckled. 

“If any punk rock star ever tells you they aren’t sappy, they are straight up lying to you.” 

Roman laughed against his chest. Virgil joined in. Closing his eyes, Virgil smiled as they fell into a comfortable silence. 

Sex with Roman had been amazing. Beyond amazing. It had been necessary as well; necessary for them to solidify their feelings for each other that couldn’t yet be put into words. Roman had been responsive in ways Virgil had never experienced, and though he couldn’t say he had a lot of experience to go off of, he was certain that that would not be different, regardless of the number of people he’d been with before. 

Virgil squeezed Roman’s shoulder. 

“We should eat.”

Roman leaned up, perching his arms on Virgil’s chest so he could look the guitarist head on. He grinned. 

“Aw, there you go looking out for me again.” 

Virgil laughed and poked him in the side, smirking as the college student squirmed. 

Squirmed and _giggled_. 

Virgil hadn’t thought that Roman could get any closer to perfect than he already was but that giggle had brought him even closer. 

“If I’m being honest here, it’s more because I’m starving, but we can totally look at it your way. For sure.” 

He flashed a grin, and Roman swatted at him in a teasing manner. 

“Rude.” 

The guitarist winked. 

“Guilty as charged, babe. But really. Get up.” 

He could see the other contemplating it. On one hand, food. On the other, they were comfortable. Difficult choice. Virgil decided to make it easy on his lover. 

“The sooner we go eat, the sooner we can get to our hotel room.” 

Just like that, Roman was up faster than Virgil had ever seen anyone move. He laughed as he got up, and together they left to grab a bite to eat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author Notes:** Chapter 4 is here! :D Please send kudos and write me a little comment. Let me know what you liked and any fave parts. I love hearing from you guys! ❤  
> 
> The title of this chapter is a song of the same name by **Hellogoodbye** and the song is in my personal playlist for this AU. You should definitely give it a listen! Here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJ6wDj44dkc).


	5. I'm Weird Cause I Hate Goodbyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING:** Though this chapter is still PG-13, the beginning scene does have them naked. However, there is very little suggestive dialog and fades to black before anything happens.

* * *

This Love-Hate Relationship

**I'm Weird Cause I Hate Goodbyes**  
( Link to "Firelflies" by _Owl City_ : [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4). )

* * *

Roman woke the next morning to the sun offensively shining right into his eyes. Even closed, the bright light was incessant. Grumbling, he turned over and shifted deeper into the middle of the bed. Snuggling into the form of his sleeping boyfriend, he smiled happily.

Memories from the night before flooded his mind. He blushed to think of how many times they had reconfirmed their desire and adoration for each other.

In a word, the night had been absolutely _magical_.

Virgil lay on his back, an arm thrown over his eyes. The other arm wrapped around Roman’s shoulders as the college student settled down, pressed against Virgil’s body.

Roman lay his head on Virgil’s chest and closed his eyes, listening to his lover’s breathing and soft heartbeat.

By the stars, was he so gone on this man.

The giddy feeling that had filled him yesterday was returning. Roman smiled against the guitarist’s chest, a happy sigh escaping him.

If someone had told him at this time the day before that he would wake up in 24 hours to a brand, shiny new boyfriend, he would have worried himself sick with all the reasons why that was so far out of the realm of reality that it was an impossibility.

“What?”

Roman blinked. Shifting onto his arm, he raised his body so he could look up at Virgil, who was peeking out at him from under his arm.

“What do you mean _what_?”

“You’ve got that look on your face.”

Roman snorted.

“We’ve technically only known each other for a total of two days. And that’s stretching it. How do you know any of my looks?”

Virgil slid the hand of the arm wrapped around him along his side. Roman sighed happily, closing his eyes.

“That look there is your contented and relaxed look.”

Roman opened his eyes to pout.

“Your puppy dog look.”

Roman narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“You’re ‘you are on thin ice’ look.”

Roman had had enough. Shifting up, he kissed Virgil hard. After a few moments of making out, Roman pulled away to grumble.

“You did that on purpose!”

Virgil grinned.

“I plead the fifth.”

Roman snorted at his boyfriend’s wink.

“Fine, I concede that you may, kind of, sort of, know me a bit… what look, then, were you asking about?”

Virgil sighed, moving to sit up. Roman pulled away, sitting up as well. He watched as Virgil settled back against the pillows.

“You looked as if you were questioning this. Are you…. Are you having second thoughts about us?”

Roman shook his head.

“No. No, sweetheart, I promise. I am happy. So happy. But I was, perhaps, feeling a bit insecure. I was just thinking… if someone had told me yesterday morning that I’d be here, with you, and you’d be my boyfriend? Well, past me would have had a pretty hard time believing it.”

Virgil frowned but nodded.

“I won’t tell you that you were silly for thinking like that, baby.” Virgil reached out to take Roman’s hands into his own. Roman willingly let him, lacing their fingers together. “Past me would have thought the exact same back then.”

Roman watched as Virgil pulled his hands up to his mouth, brushing his lips over the knuckles. The college student felt his body growing hot.

Hooded dark eyes met his, and Roman went willingly to his lover as the man pulled him in close.

»»————　♚　————««

“So, what do you want to do today?”

Roman looked up from where he sat on the edge of the bed, tying his shoes. Honestly, after the last hour of fun, Roman wanted nothing more than to crawl back under the covers, cuddle against his boyfriend, and sleep. Virgil, however, had squashed that idea when he reminded Roman that he was leaving that night. Wanting to spend more time with his lover before he left won out over sleep.

“Mm. Well, I could give you a tour of the town. Show you my parents’ house, my elementary school, my middle and high schools, first job, second first job, my first boyfriend’s house—”

“Not funny.”

Roman snickered as he stood up, crossing to where Virgil now stood in the doorway to the bathroom.

“I thought it was a little funny.”

He smiled cutely, which had the guitarist rolling his eyes with a snort.

“You are an idiot, but I kinda like you anyway.”

Roman wrapped his arms around the other, pressing in close. He pouted at him.

“Only _kind of_?”

Virgil placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

“Yep.”

Roman pouted for real as Virgil pulled out of his hold to cross to the bed so he could put his own shoes on.

“Rude.”

Virgil smirked, tossing a wink Roman’s way.

“And you like me anyway.”

Roman stuck his tongue out.

_“Kinda.”_

Virgil laughed.

“Touché.”

Roman watched as Virgil moved to grab keys and wallet off the bedside table, putting them into their proper pockets. He then took his phone off the charger, glanced at the lock screen for notifications and clicked the phone off. Roman watched as he slipped the phone into the right pocket of his signature purple-plaid patched hoodie. It was the one he frequently wore when he wasn’t onstage, in a photoshoot, or in an interview.

He then crossed the room to Roman, moving to stand in front of him as he reached out to place his hands on Roman’s waist. Roman willingly let Virgil pull him in, pressing against him and wrapping his arms around Virgil’s neck. The college student looked into the other’s eyes, grinning.

Virgil smiled back.

“We can do all of that… and if it really means _that_ much to you, we can totally stop by your first boyfriend’s house. But only if we stop by a grocery store for a carton of eggs first. No relevance between the eggs and the first boyfriend’s house though.”

Roman rolled his eyes.

“And you call me an idiot.”

Virgil chuckled. He brushed his fingers along the bare skin just under the hem of Roman’s shirt. Roman hummed happily sliding his fingers into Virgil’s hair.

“I’m going to miss you, you know, sweetheart.”

Virgil nodded before leaning in to press his forehead against Roman’s.

“I do. You’re not alone in that, baby.”

Roman didn’t know who initiated the kiss that time, but it didn’t matter in the slightest.

»»————　♚　————««

“So… this is where my pain in the ass grew up?” The two had taken Roman’s car on their tour around town. Roman figured there would be less chance of Virgil getting noticed if they used a vehicle to get around.

The college student now poked Virgil hard in the side.

“Kidding! Kidding!” Virgil said, lifting his hands up as if saying _I yield_. But then he muttered under his breath with a smirk. _“Mostly.”_

“I heard that!”

Virgil took on a look of innocence. If Roman hadn’t been victim to the slight, he might actually believe in his innocence. As it was, Roman knew him better than that anyway.

“Oh, don’t even.”

Virgil grinned, dark brown eyes twinkling with mischief.

“So… your parents are in there?”

“Yeah. Well, no. Not right _now_. Well, mom might be in there with Grecia, but probably not.”

“Grecia?”

“My little sister.”

“So… Grecia as in _Greece_?”

“Mmhm.”

“And your name is Roman.”

Roman wanted to roll his eyes. Instead, he feigned a sudden epiphany.

“By the stars!” He gasped, eyes widening dramatically. “I can’t believe it! All this time I never realized that my parents were total nerds that named me and my sister for Rome and Greece! What on earth would I do without you, darling?”

Virgil snorted.

“Fine. Fine.”

Roman grinned.

“Anyway, no, we can’t go in. I’m not ready for the whole meeting the parents thing just yet, sweetheart.”

“Oh, believe me. I’m not ready either. But I had hoped to maybe catch a glimpse of the people who brought this amazing guy I’m dating into the world.”

Roman blushed but poked Virgil in the chest.

“If you think you’re gonna get anywhere with that flattery… you’re absolutely right.”

Roman stole a deep kiss and then took Virgil by the hand, pulling him back to the car.

They visited each of Roman’s schools, Roman’s first job, and his second first job. They skipped Roman’s first boyfriend’s house in favor of lunch.

“The diner we went to when we first met… let’s go there?”

Roman grinned, nodding as he drove them to the diner.

It wasn’t long before were inside and seated, a very excited Talyn serving them.

“I am going to freaking kiss Valerie for scheduling me these last two days.”

Roman blushed but glancing at Virgil he beamed to see the guitarist grinning.

“Virgil. This is a friend of mine. _Their_ name is Talyn. Talyn… well, it’s obvious you already know my boyfriend.”

He had been expecting some shock and squealing. Talyn just looked at him and waved his words aside.

“Save the dramatics, Princey. Logan brought Patton in last night and confirmed my guess that you were the person Virgil wrote the song for.”

Roman made a face. Virgil laughed and gently bumped Roman’s foot with his own. Roman looked up, meeting Virgil’s eyes.

“Oooh. I like them!” Virgil smirked, nodding toward Talyn.

Talyn grinned, obviously pleased with themselves.

“So, what can I get you gents to drink?”

“Water with lemon,” Roman said with a long-suffering sigh.

The things he had to put up with.

“I’ll take a cherry coke. Thanks, dude.”

Talyn rushed off, squealing all the way to the back.

“You’ve got interesting friends. I like them.”

Roman pursed his lips. “Even Logan?” He asked, pointedly.

A shadow passed over Virgil’s face but quickly disappeared.

“I haven’t spent much time with him, so I can’t say that with certainty.”

Roman glared.

“But that’s not to say I’m not _open_ to liking him. Promise.”

Roman sighed softly.

“You better promise.” He said, without much fire.

“He’s important to you. I can see that. I know it’s stupid, worrying when you’ve said more than once that there’s nothing between you two. But… well, he’s really hot… and I mean, objectively, you guys would make a really attractive couple. But I don’t want to be objective.”

Roman shook his head with a grin.

“You’re ridiculous. Also, I kind of love that you find my best friend hot. I mean, if you’re interested I could always ask him if he—”

“No.”

Roman frowned.

“Aww, but why not? I mean! We could always get Patton involved too! He’s hella cute, and I mean the four of us, you gotta admit—”

_“Roman.”_

Roman broke out laughing. Virgil tried to glare but he joined in a moment later.

By the time Talyn had returned with their drinks, laughter had subsided and all talk of threesomes and foursomes was pushed aside in favor of food.

»»————　♚　————««

Roman snuggled closer to Virgil’s body as they walked along the main street of town. Virgil’s arm was wrapped securely around him, and he kept pressing his lips to the side of Roman’s head every so often. The college student was a huge romantic, so he loved all of the little intimate gestures. He also knew, however, that they were in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. He found himself wondering if Virgil would be as tactile and domestic once that phase had passed. He hoped so. It definitely would not be changing on his end of things.

“You’re amazing, baby.” Virgil whispered into his hair after one such kiss.

_Soft. He’s so soft._

Roman was not sure how much more of this he could take.

Of course, he didn’t want it to stop in the slightest.

“Thank you.” He murmured, wrapping his own arms more tightly around the guitarist. “You’re beyond anything I could have ever imagined, sweetheart. And I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I’ve got a top-notch imagination.”

He glanced at Virgil in time to catch him smiling at him.

“I hadn’t heard but I don’t doubt it the least bit.”

Roman leaned in for a kiss. They stopped walking for a few moments as Virgil pulled him against him.

After a couple shared kisses, Virgil pressed his forehead against Roman’s, dark eyes looking intently into chestnut ones.

“I’m going to miss you, Roman.” His voice was hardly louder than a whisper.

Roman felt his throat close up as he nodded.

“And I’ll miss you, Virgil. More than you could possibly know.”

He braved a smile.

“But we’ll text and call, and Face Time, and Snapchat. Then you’ll be off tour before you know it. Then you can come visit me. Or maybe I can come visit you in LA.”

Virgil grinned, though it was bittersweet.

“Definitely, baby.”

Another few kisses were shared before Roman pulled away, taking Virgil’s hand into his own and lacing their fingers. He then pulled Virgil onward, exploring the town for a little while longer.

»»————　♚　————««

Roman tried to hold back the tears. He did _try_.

He even lasted through his idiot boyfriend going and hugging him as if his life depended on it.

It wasn’t until Virgil whispered into his ear, sounding equally choked up, that Roman about lost it.

“Gonna miss you, baby.”

Roman let a few tears escape as he buried his face into the crook of Virgil’s neck.

“I don’t know.” He managed, as if he weren’t already crying. “I don’t think I’ll really miss you all that much.”

“Jerk.”

Roman laughed, the sound shaking as he clung harder to his lover.

“Dork. I _will_ miss you so much, sweetheart.”

“I know, Roman. I know.”

They pulled back to look into each other’s eyes.

“We’ll text and facetime and all that, just like you said.” Virgil said, reaching up to frame Roman’s face with his hands, brushing away a few rogue tears with the pads of his thumbs.

“I’ll try to come to one of the shows if I can.”

“Let me know and I’ll send you tickets and set up a flight.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t _have_ to. But I want to.”

“I don’t suppose I can fight you on this?”

“Nope.” Virgil grinned, and Roman was astounded that that grin could still disarm him so well.

“Fine.”

He was about to pull Virgil into another kiss when a rush of dark blue passed them. Surprised, they both turned to watch as Logan, who had been waiting in his car for Roman to finish his goodbyes with Virgil, rushed towards the tour bus.

“Patton!”

Roman couldn’t help but smile, having a pretty good idea what would happen next.

Patton peeked out from the bus door, curiosity etched into his features. As soon as his eyes fell on Logan, however, the keyboardist bounded off the bus towards him.

“Logan!” Patton called as he threw his arms around him. When they pulled away, Logan left his hands resting on Patton’s waist.

“I didn’t want to let you go… it was silly… so emotionally driven but… I can’t let you go without letting you know that I… well… fuck it—”

Roman beamed as he watched his best friend bring a hand to cradle Patton’s face, his other arm wrapping around the smaller male, tugging him closer as he leaned down to kiss Patton firmly.

“When… When did that happen?”

Roman snorted as he turned to Virgil. He then turned them both so that Virgil’s back was to Logan and Patton.

“Don’t worry about that. Just be happy for them.”

Virgil grinned.

“Well, that does make me like Logan a bit more now.”

Roman gave him a look before rolling his eyes as Virgil laughed.

“I’m _kidding_ … mostly.”

Roman playfully punched him on the shoulder but gave in as Virgil pulled him into another hard kiss. Kissing back, Roman melted at the sensations.

He didn’t know how long they kissed but as they pulled away, their eyes met, and Roman found that as sad as he was, he wasn’t worried about Virgil leaving.

They would be just fine.

He didn’t know how he knew, but he did.

“Guys. It’s time to go.”

Roman glared at Remy from over Virgil’s shoulder. Not that the manager saw it or cared if he did.

Sighing, Roman turned his attention back to the guitarist. He smiled softly and leaned in to steal a quick kiss, only to be pulled into a deeper kiss as Virgil held him close.

Pulling away a second time, Roman wasn’t surprised to find his cheeks a bit damp from tears.

“Go on. The world needs you.”

Virgil, whose dark eyes were shiny with held back tears, snorted.

“You are such a dork. Come on. Let’s go see how our best friends are doing.”

Wrapping an arm around Roman’s shoulder, Virgil led him over to the other two.

Roman couldn’t help but grin at the sight of the tight hug their friends gave each other. When Logan and Patton sensed their presence, however, they pulled away, both blushing profusely.

“I guess this means truce, dude.” Virgil said, holding out his hand.

“Well,” Logan said, adjusting his glasses, “I was never under the assumption that we were at war, but I am aware that you held jealous feelings toward me in regards to my friendship with Roman… so, yes. I will, for the sake of simplicity, accept your truce.”

As they shook hands, Roman met Patton’s eyes. They simultaneously rolled their eyes and grinned.

Things would be much better from now on. Roman felt very proud that Logan and Patton were on their way to getting together. He would be able to forever claim that he was the reason for their relationship. After all, if he hadn’t brought Logan with him to the concert, the two would have never even met.

Roman looked at the tour bus and back at Virgil.

“Get some sleep. Don’t text me until the morning. You’ve got a long trip.”

Virgil smiled and nodded. He then reached out to grip Roman’s chin, leaning in to kiss him once more, lips lingering for a few seconds more. He then pulled away and turned, heading for the tour bus. Roman watched until he was on, also allowing his best friend and Patton some privacy.

Once Patton was headed to the bus, Roman watched Logan instead for a few moments. He was happy the nerdy guy had finally found someone who could show him there was more to life than books and knowledge.

Together they watched as the bus took off into the night. As soon as it was out of sight, it was Logan who got his attention with a clearing of his throat.

“Come on, Ro. It’s cold and late and we’ve got class tomorrow.”

Roman sighed. “Fine.” A beat. “But don’t you dare think this gets you off the hook. On the way back to the dorms I expect a full rundown of your time with Patton starting from the moment you two left me and Virgil in his dressing room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Author Notes:** OH MY GOD, GUYS! I am so so so sorry that I am posting Chapter 5 on here a month after it was posted on Tumblr. I must admit, however, that first A03 would not let me post. At all! Then my depression got the better of me and I've had a bit of a hiatus. Don't worry though! I am still very dedicated and inspired for this fanfic. I just needed a break. Please comment and let me know fave parts and lines and anything else you want to! You all know I adore hearing from you!!! ❤  
> 
> The title of this chapter is a line from the Owl City song **Fireflies** and the song is in my personal playlist for this AU. You should definitely give it a listen! Here is the link to the song: [click](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psuRGfAaju4).


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